I SO SMART I TELL YOU!

enough with all the recent serious posts. let's have something light today.

first of all it's Jenny's birthday today and i don't know if she'll ever check this blog but
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! welcome to the 18's. hehe.

okay, now i shall go on and bore you with every single detail of my yesterday.

i woke up in my sister's room again. this time it's not because of my messy room (how do you sleep on a bed piled with heaps of clothes?) but my allergy. that's right, the allergen is in my room. i hate to say this but my mom was right. my room is like a muzeum of all sorts of pathogens.

i've been waking up all by myself for the past few days. no alarm clock and no mother screaming. so kiang. if this were a wacky tv script,
my mom would say
"daughter, i'm so proud of you, you are finally growing up."
and i would say
"siaw."

i don't understand why my mother is the kind that would let us have burgers and fries for breakfast.

i also don't understand why my mother would think that just because it's raining, we have to rush, just because it's raining there will be traffic jam. WHY? is it true? but even if you stress about what can you do? you still end up caught in the jam right? why rush then? why not relax, grow less grey hair, enjoy breakfast more, no need to scream at the children. children have fragile souls you know. must treat them with tlc. and i am a child. YES.

and then i finally got to school. i had an exam, it was Literature day! i love literature. "ET TU BRUTE!" yeah, that's the only line i know from Julius Caesar. so much for the love. payling kept saying to herself "die lo, die lo, die lo, die la, die la, never mind la, give up la," but after ten times of that, she was still holding on to her book, die hard. die hard. caesar died hard.

Sky bumped into me and my pencil case dropped. after a long smirk, he refused to pick it up and left me there being laughed by everyone who saw (witnesses: payling, jenny and shenny). i dont like him very much. (the truth is I bumped into him). what? funny kah? i didn't say you laughed.

sitting in a damn huge hall with not enough air conditioners to write a 2 hour 2x900words essay is NOT amusing. it is ALSO not amusing when you have to wear tudong. NEITHER was it amusing when someone's phone rang in the hall during the exam.

IQBAL WEARS SPECS NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
"i can take off my specs. you can't take off your fats."
ouch.
*above conversation took place telepathically.

i saw a very very cute little boy in chms and i thought he looked like doraemon. the last time i thought someone looked like doraemon was 4 years ago and i thought our notorious cikgu ali AHMAD of the malaydepartment looked like doraemon.
cikgu ali AHMAD looked like this:

i could've sworn he was a twin of doraemon!

then i saw jenny at lunch in some random chinese kopitiam. i think she was following me. i think she was already hinting "REMEMBER, my birthday tomorrow!"

i spring-cleaned my room. i say spring-clean, not autumn-clean because i'm chinese and when chinese people do a thorough cleaning, they call it spring cleaning because they usually do it before chinese new year, which is in spring, but now i'm not doing it before chinese new year, it's actually quite a few weeks to mooncake festival but i don't care, i'm chinese, i call it spring-cleaning because it's a chinese term. beh song ah?

i am sure i eradicated EVERY SINGLE MICROORGANISM in my room because i shattered a sheet of glass from my cupboard, bonked the ceiling fan with my vacuum thing quite a few times and took every piece of furniture out of my room and ladeeda-dumdeedum. the truth- my aunt did all that for me, in return in tutor her son, my cousin, maths. what what? at least i broke the glass myself okay? you can meh?

and finally by the end of the day everything seemed to be done! wonderful! so i could start revising for the exam the next day. what was it again? biology. where's my biology text book? hmm....

1 text message received.

KELINTUN:
Lyn.. You forgot to take ur bio book..
You left it in my bag..


I TOLD YOU I WAS SMART.

Masks

She got off the bus, and her head was spinning. She felt sick to her stomach, but there was nothing she could do. No one would let her DO anything, which was probably why she hated them all so much. She KNEW she could take out this loser and beat him up so badly he'd never sit straight again....but no one would let her. He hurt her family, he'd have to go. She'd find SOME way to fix this.

......and then, she walked into school, and put on her mask. She flipped her blonde hair back and squealed, "OH MY GOD, HIIIIIIIIII!!! How was your weekend, darling?! Mine ROCKED!!!"

He stared over the junior quadrangle. He saw her, and his heart broke. Why? Not because he COULDN'T have her, but because he could. But the question was, did he want her, or did he want....the other one? This was so damn complicated, he couldn't pick between the two of them. This was a horrible choice to have to make, he knew he'd HAVE to break one of their hearts...but how the hell do you place a value on someone's love?

......and then, he picked up his bag, and put on his mask. He walked up to the group and went, "So are you going? YOU'RE JOKING, they're sold out ALREADY?! B*stards, they always sell out so damn quickly. Got mine though, Haaaah!"

She looked up. She always loved being in this classroom, it made her really happy to be here. No one would ever know this, but she loved being here so much more than people thought. She craved respect and recognition...she knew, of course, that they called her a bimbo and easy and a slut behind her back...but she couldn't help it. No one was nice to her when she tried. And she tried so hard....

......and then the teacher asked her a question, and she put on her mask. "Huuhh?" She said stupidly, "Um....I don't know...I left it at home."

He braced himself. Damnit. All because of that damn speech. So he couldn't be hilariously funny, big damn deal. He'd not expected to win this...the other guy's speech was absolutely hilarious. This was completely unfair, he KNEW he could be the best leader this school ever had. But SIMPLY because he couldn't pull off "Hyuk, and then, SHE FARTED!", he was being denied the opportunity. These stupid people couldn't tell chalk from cheese...heck, they couldn't tell great leader (him) from damn court jester (the OTHER guy), so he wouldn't be surprised.

......and then they called out his name, and he put on his mask. He stood up and graciously accepted the Vice Captain title with a "Thanks, guys! I'll definitely do my best, and I'd be honoured to be your vice."

The world, ladies and gentlemen, would be a much better place if we all just took off the masks. These are tales based (sometimes loosely, sometimes COMPLETELY ACCURATELY) on my real classmates, and it's amazing how sometimes, life itself transcends the need for exaggerations and drama.

Cheers,

Sawadikhap...

hello hello...


i just got back from thailand yesterday. bangkok was ok. rode in my unc's new 5 series bmw. and i was wondering if the cars in bangkok were that cheap. i mean..everywhere i see bimmer n mers. and owh. their cabs are toyota corollas which go by all sorts of colours - u name it, they have it. i have the pic of the pink cab thou but too bad i cudnt post it. btw, lately, i have a new obsession. CARS. yes. weird? maybe. its like, i love talking abt cars. uwh uwh. the new nissan looks so phat. =b hehe. ukayy. stop with the cars already.


So. let's talk abt what i did in thailand. kayy. i went for a tour. visited the grand palace, the reclining buddha, the standing buddha, the floating market, rose garden, suan lam and chatuchat's night market. i love thailand's night markets. you can ask for a cheaper prices, but that is IF u noe how to. * u noe they dont speak good english. so its freakinggly hard to understand* umm. well i didn't do much. it was a short trip. a 3-days trip.

and i only learnt 2 word out of this trip. 'sawadikhap' and 'kapkhonkha' which means welcome n thank you. HEHE.



So yeah. AS is up in 3 weeks time.and puasa is around the corner. bahh its cold - cause i am only wearing my bra n boxer - and should better be in the shower and get some lunch afterwards.

*smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooochiiiiiieeessss* for all of you.

Legacy

It's all about leaving a legacy.

As usual, I post my disclaimer that NONE of this is really going to make sense.

In light of the nostalgic posts of late, Lyn's is WAY better than this one, so if you haven't read it, SKIP THIS ONE and read the one below.

I just realized something.

That all my life, since I was young, I've been obsessed with leaving something behind.

I've always been the type of kid who'll do something stupid, rash and impulsive just to be remembered, to be legendized. I rapped half my election speech for the School Captain elections. I've taken hundreds of FUGLICIOUS photos just to prove I was there. I've collected coins so my kids and their kids will look back on them fondly. I've kept a box of Keepsakes full of my most precious treasures so that someone will come across it in an attic some day and think, Wow, some life this girl had.

I keep a journal. I file all my poems neatly away in a big binder, prettily decorated in silver marker. I author a blog and co-author a second. I collect all sorts of random nonsense with the hope that I'll sometime pass it down (jewellery, stamps, miniature tea sets, lockets....)

And I just realized the common link between all these things: A deep rooted desire to leave a bit of myself behind. A strange fear of being lost in the sands of time. I wonder if everyone is like this, if EVERYONE is as much of an ORGANIZED hoarder as I am!

Inside my heart is a girlish desire that someone will open a locket in the year 2095 and go, "What a pretty girl, I wonder what her story is." and on the other side of the world, at the same time, someone will find a poem or letter and say, "Wow. This is some pretty intense stuff. I wish I had a photo, a face to put to this."

And up in heaven, I'll giggle to myself.

into the shadow and through

hey everyone, im just gonna sit in front of my laptop and pour my heart out okay? i'm not drunk but don't take me seriously, i'll be fine after this. this is gonna be long.

i am at a phase in my life where the closest people to me are leaving or drifting away from me. i'd like to think that when people leave, they open up a position for new people to fill into. but no, all i feel now is a void are many voids. and how can anyone ever substitute the place these special people had in my heart? these people will come back to me, i hope. all im worried now is when they come back, will they will still be the same people i fell in love with?

what i don't like is having to make an effort to stay close. it doesn't work, that making effort thing. everything has to come naturally. but what does natural mean when we you are at different continents, different time zone, have no meeting point, or no same classes, no same private study time, NOTHING in common except we came from the same school?

i can't say i've been making a lot of effort because i know it, i haven't. im just so used to just see all my friends right there. it has never occured to me that every relationship takes effort. so yeah, amilyn, don't think you're so cool that people just come to you and all want to be your friend. none of that.

what am i then? lazy. apathetic. slothful. lethargic. irresponsible and immature. yes, it's true, because what i'm doing now is telling everyone i have a problem and no one is helping. this is truly a bitching. so hate me.

whoever's reading this, it's not the end of my post. things cannot be let be like that. accepting that you're not ideal? admitting defeat and settle like that? (just like that time when he told me he was too weak to quit smoking. i was hurt he let himself be weak. no, it wasn't Jasper if any of you were thinking.) no. that will go against everything i have stood so strong for.

i am an idealist, a perfectionist, a psychotic mild OCDer, i will

1. fix it.
2. fix it.
3. fix it.
   

i admit that for the past few weeks i've been selfish and shifting blame here and there. but i know now the problem lies in me. i don't know how to tell you, but i will try.

i love vee. she's crazy and she sprinkles life dust everywhere she goes, like the little fairy in PeterPan. she's at Taylor's College in SubangJaya (google it if you don't know). i was supposed to go to there with her. had my name signed up by the educational services, vee even booked the apartment for me already. we're gonna live together. leave bruland and rock taylors.
and then i did something stupid, and decided it's best i stayed in brunei. vee, im sorry. i always wish i was there with you. vee still texts me, and tells me to call her, hah! but i love talking to her, to know what's going on in her life, to let her know im still alive, to let her know i miss her. she's still here, she hasn't left.

teo. man, this boy is nuts. pressure himself studying here, pressure himself studying even when he's by himself in KK. he's the genius of the class, the gem. the guy who everyone turns to.
"HEY TEO HOW YOU DO THIS QUESTION??"
he used to call me a lot and most of the time i took him for granted. the truth is deep down i know i appreciate him. his stupid jokes, how he makes everything sounds like sex (don't hit me!) all the secrets he share, so much trust in me. teo, please stop being so gullible, not everyone is trustworthy okay? but you can be sure i am. Teo rocks. he still calls me from KK and im exuberant each time he comes back to brunei during his holiday. he'll always be here, he hasn't left.

sana banana. or the queen. or the noisy brat. i looked back at my old journals dated 2001 and i saw myself write "sangeetha is making a lot of noise again. everyone wants her to shut up." look at yourself now girl, who are you? the one we love, our little queen. how much have you grown, how much you have grown.
i love sana. she's one of a kind. she's my friend, i lecture her when she doesn't do things right, when she's a stupid kid. she's my friend, she lectures me when i do things wrong, when im lost and confused. she's my friend, she asks me what i've been doing and she's so excited and happy for me i could feel it. she's gone to to taree now, NSW australia, but her high spirits remain like she's never left. sana, you know i love you even though i have this picture of us looking like idiots:-

hahahahahaa!! look at you... so tiny. look at me... omygod that hair!!! okay we gotta justify ourselves. we look like this now:

come back quick so we can attempt to burn the pic on the left and end up putting it into a beautiful frame (in our hearts, at the very least.)

jasmine. she's blissfully in manila, learning architecture now. she up and left, left us a phone number which did NOT function, never replies her email, never signs in to MSN, never blogs (forgets her password!), NOTHING.
but this girl pierced a spear right through my heart when she called me up last month, saying she's coming home the very next day and i was the first she called.
and why do i love her? oh she's the angel when you're having innocent fun, she's the best bitching partner when you're mad, she's the devil when you go clubbing, she's the *read her description on the top right of this page*. then she just came home and told me all her stories like she had never left.

bryan the stupid "twin" of mine, this is the only surviving picture of us i can find:

i met bryan in the middle of after olevels holiday through teo (i just KNOW you will request for credit). he's the only guy i've actually got close to and feel comfortable with in such a short period of time. we had so much in common. it's strange how things works.
but less than two months later, he had to go back to myanmar... i forgot all the french he taught me, i still wonder if they were right! hahahaha! bryan, you left as fast as you came.. sometimes i feel that we've never met. at other times i feel that you've never really left. and i still think you look better after the haircut no matter what you say. =p

shenny and i, our friendship goes wayyy back. she's grown so much over the years but she is still the same good-natured person everyone loved.
do you remember when you turned to me, so frustrated that alan and melvin kept calling you "beehoon"? hahaha. i told you to ignore them, because they'll go away when they're not given attention. but in the end your mom came and gave them all a lecture lol.
although shen and i don't get time to talk much these days, i know our friendship is still strong. and i hope she'll never leave so we can create more of these silly memories.

felicia!! how we came to be, to me, is really amazing. schoolmates since kindy, but we never got close. i always observed her from afar. she's always been a sweetheart.
i loved fel as i got to know her. fel is passionate and loyal. she's upbeat, she's cheery, but at times she's sad, and she's hiding. she is an amazing person and she has gone through a lot so she needs strength but i know she's strong. RED HOUSE YO! lol.
my one regret is that i have never really found a way to express how much i care for fel. you are reading this, fel, aren't you? everytime you reach out, i want to be there. but i don't know how. i'm working it though, and one day, things will be different =D don't leave before that day comes. fel is the cutest. DO NOT DELETE THE PIC, FEL!

JOSH.
you let me go and i came back,
i pushed you away and you came back,
will this finally be the end? DUNNO.
josh and i are spontaneous, there's no telling what will happen next. one sure thing is that i'll always love him. we've got something special going on ;) so what if he's in canada now? we've been apart too many times, im used to it. LOL. there in my heart he'll always be.

still my favourite picture =p

hahahaha see, i told you i'll be fine after this. i love you all.
i never meant to do or say any mean things... i hope you understand that.
sometimes we just need to throw a fit, then we'll be fine.
learnt it from the babies!!

p.s - shen and fel, we are DEFINITELY gonna have our sessions every monday and thursday. i'll make sure it happens! clint, join us! =D

........

BOO!



ill write a real post soon. mvahah.
in case ure wondering how am i doing..
im great. *smooooch*