Racists. One thing I undeniably hate.
Its so sickening how certain racists thinks low of you and welcomed you, a newbie, to their school so reluctantly, because SHE noticed you are a CHINESE and jumped to conclusion in her bloody dumb head that I'M definitely from "Chung Hwa". What's wrong with Chung Hwa, anyway? Puhleeze~ Only after she found out I was from St.George's, the vulgar-ness soon started to slowly fade. So yes, registering to `that school was a bad experience.
Although I'm eager to start school, there is an opposition somewhere in me that doesn't want it all to happen. I don't know. Maybe its fear that's holding me back. Im really worried about what's about to come. AS, then A Level. It all sounds so scary and I just feel so petrified. I'm really worried I won't be able to cope. I still don't know if taking up Chemistry is a wise choice.
Before confirming all the subjects I had chosen, I went to the careers section. I was advised to take up Biology instead because im weaker in Chemistry and im not a very big fan of it. In addition to that, my Maths is quite weak too. Maths is also needed to apply in Physics... Argh.. Im just so.... =(
I was feeling really pressured when I was talking to the careers lecturer. I told her that one of the Chemistry lecturers strictly advised me not to take up the subject because I'd be struggling throughout the year. She, however, did not agree with that and tried cheering me up. Fuck man. The eagerness of me wanting to eliminate the vulnerabality in me hasn't been so successful. Im so thankful to have talked to her. I only found out later that she herself is a chemistry teacher! I hope I'll be in her class.
To take up architecture, i'd need Physics, Chemistry and Maths. IF I DO decide to exchange Chemistry with Biology sometime in the first week of school,.. then, I don't know,.. I'll have to find new interests ......... which Might be impossible. Big sigh.
I can go on typing like this for hours, I swear. As usual, I do it silently. I hate it when at home, the subject of the hour or two, is directly relating to me. Heh. Don't know why. OR, how my sisterS acedemic results are bossed around. Im not jealous. It just proves how "DUMB" I am. The black sheep with the weakest intellectual genes, that I am. It hurts a lot sometimes.
Hm, I wonder if anyone's even reading this. Haha =) It's ok. At least I feel better after typing my inner thoughts out. At least im typing them out nearing to proper English which, in addition, doesn't really waste my time because at the same time, I am learning a lot and plus, im letting my brain function a little more since I am STILL on holidays.... brain dead is a no no. hehe. I guess im just used to thinking A LOT. I met an old lady having Alzheimer's in Malaysia. So kesian. =( BE thankful for what you have.
4 comments:
I read I read.. HEHE.. =) and tell u what.. Im so so jealous of your english here. You blogged so well and the english you use are so.. 'BiG'.. definetely better than My english.
so,U took physics n chem eyy? they wont let me take chem, they said my chem was a D7 plus chem class is full ledy they said. so sigh` I had to let go of my pharmacist dream. I took physics,maths n a/c tho.. so now, I got to hav more more interest in physics!! HAHA, remember me saying.. 'ah, I dont care abt my physics result, it's not like Im going to take physics for my A level.' Haha. =P
person #1: ohh um, u wanna take 4 subs? im afraid u cant, unless u got all a1s in ur olevels.
me: please, please, let me try? i will do good, umm..or u can kick me out?
person #1: im afraid not
person #2: just let her take it. if she cant handle it, she cud drop it.
FEL, I THINK u must have met person #1.. i didnt really like her.
then there was another one who i went to, here's how the convo went
*me sits down, hands over application*
person: i've noticed u walking around for a long time, is there a problem?
*person glances at my application coz it's PINK so im not local. and im chinese.
me: well im just really cant decide what to do.
person: hmmm.. nothing in mind?
me: well..i dont exactly have an ambition or anything
person: oh.
*opens my application, sees my results a while and asks for my original copy*
person (sheepishly): hehehe and here i was thinking u were clueless because u had bad results.
hmm.. okay. yeah i get that a lot. u racism? me nationalism. have u heard about that scholarship thing? haha.
Hey Shen dearr! hehehe thanks babe. I leaRN a lot from reading. haha it's so the opposite of me 2 years ago, huh? =P Im a big fan of URBAN and my interest in reading books are back.. so yeah =P
You only took 3 subjects? They didn't allow me to take 5 Subs!(the 3 sciences + maths + GP). So, i had to choose between Chemistry and Bio. Still, im not so sure is choosing chem over bio is a wise choice considering, im a bigger fan of Bio.
They didn't actually wanted to accept me for Chem cos they said the expected number of students they wanted had already exceeded. But still, in the end, they accepted me. So yea, lucky me, I guess? =S But I MIGHT change to Bio if i feel I won't be able to cope with Chem. sighhh. soo scary la =(
I never knew u wanted to be a pharmacist! Hehehe. COOL! =P It's okay la babe. Just study hard and aim for the stars. Im sure you'll do just fine for A level. =)
I hope we'll be in the same class for Physics!!! =P Teehee. Mwahhhhhh. I MISS YOU lots!
LYN, hahhaa =P
Maybe.
But u know, they said I couldn't take 5 subs cos I'd need at least 5A's for that. But im ALLOWED to take 4 subs eventhough i don't have all A's.
=S
Who's person #1? Poor person! =S So did he/she managed to take up 4 subs in the end?
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