That I've AACTUALLY always wanted to be a checkout chick?
That whole MEDICINE thing was just a cover up! What I REALLY want to do is work at Hua Ho telling you how much your nasi basmati and bananas are, and do that cool nail-flippy thing they do when they're counting notes.
Ohhhhhhhhh god, guys, I don't know what I'm going to do.
It's so hard.
And I don't know if I can take this. In about four months, I'll have finished my exams and probably started a bachelor's degree in....something.
For like, ever, I've wanted that something to be Med. I don't know why, I don't know if it's really what I want to do....I just know that I do.
But it's so hard.....and I'm suddenly not as smart as people told me I was. I'm suddenly finding my beautiful study notes utterly inadequate....I'm scared I haven't started studying early enough, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and sob.
Long and short of it is, I'm not ready for this.
I'm SO not ready to make a single decision now that affects THE REST of my life.
I'm just not ready.
I wish I was.
But I'm not.
And for now, there's little I can do about it except go off and analyze some crappy related texts for English so I can, yet again, prove to MYSELF and THE WORLD.....
How goddamned inadequate I am.
That whole MEDICINE thing was just a cover up! What I REALLY want to do is work at Hua Ho telling you how much your nasi basmati and bananas are, and do that cool nail-flippy thing they do when they're counting notes.
Ohhhhhhhhh god, guys, I don't know what I'm going to do.
It's so hard.
And I don't know if I can take this. In about four months, I'll have finished my exams and probably started a bachelor's degree in....something.
For like, ever, I've wanted that something to be Med. I don't know why, I don't know if it's really what I want to do....I just know that I do.
But it's so hard.....and I'm suddenly not as smart as people told me I was. I'm suddenly finding my beautiful study notes utterly inadequate....I'm scared I haven't started studying early enough, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and sob.
Long and short of it is, I'm not ready for this.
I'm SO not ready to make a single decision now that affects THE REST of my life.
I'm just not ready.
I wish I was.
But I'm not.
And for now, there's little I can do about it except go off and analyze some crappy related texts for English so I can, yet again, prove to MYSELF and THE WORLD.....
How goddamned inadequate I am.
2 comments:
how about taking a year off and trying for a job at a call centre or tuition the other less smartpanty kids with immensely high hourly rates.
you're so young!!
i hear you sanasana =( i hear you.. not med for me tho =( i've known i wasnt smart enough since forever. harsh reality.
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